// [P]rofile.. *

 Name : Ayan Kumiko
Nick : Maya
Age : ....
D.O.B : ....
Sign : Sagittarius
Email : mafabunan@yahoo.com
YM : class_cuties
Friendster : kuroitenshi15@yahoo.com

// [A]dores.. *

 anime.
manga.
j-music.
cars.
racing.
drift.
art.
music.
house m.d.

// [L]oathes.. *

 jackasses.
snakes.
stuck-up brats.
spiders.
ampalaya.

// [L]inks.. *

 My multiply.
Fanfictions.
My livejournal.

// [W]ishlist.. *

 nintendo ds.
make a manga.
drift my car.
produce an awesome computer graphic design.
See l'arc~en~ciel perform live.

// [T]agboard.. *

 ``Insert your tagboard code here``
Saturday, September 24, 2005
|9/24/2005 01:20:00 PM|

what a day this had been. it all started normal. i woke up, ate breakfast and helped around the house. never did i know that i would be involved in a car crash. what's worse is that i'm the one at fault. Dammit! Damn! Damn! DAMN!!! i'm so stupid! i'm such a klutz and spacehead. Fuck! Good thing that none of us were injured. but until now, my pride won't let it go.i cried on the way home, not because i got scolded. i think that'll be better than my pride and conscience digging at me!!! i can't accept the fact that i didn't do anything except step on the brake. my hand just froze, i can't move, i can't think of anything to do at all! my head just went blank and i call myself a racer!!! dammit!!! i'm such a fucking idiot who doesn't even know how to steer away from danger! i'm a total idiot, imbecile, baka and ahou! not only that, but i had also put my auntie in a huge mess. this is one thing that i can't live down for the rest of my life. i cried on the way home because my pride as a driver is shattered into million pieces. i imagined this kind of scenarios a countless of times with me steering away from danger but now that the situation presented itself, i couldn't do a fucking thing about it!!! kuso!!! i remember my brother once said that those who are overly safe drivers are the ones most likely to get killed in a car accident. i also know that my brother was involved in a number of car accidents and there was even a time where he ended up in the police precinct and stayed the afternoon there. i know that this accident is a lesson to me. i also know that this will help to make me a better driver, but it's still hard to accept the fact. me, a proud car enthusiast, racing and drifting admirer, a huge initial d fan and an aspiring race car driver, had this accident and the worst of it is, it is all my fault. it goes to show what happens when you're so full of yourself. you end up swallowing your whole pride. i don't know why i just have to learn those important lessons in a hard way. it might be because of my hard-headedness. probably so. i was already anxious about driving the car before i left the house this morning because the car was having problems the past few days. i should've followed my intuition. countless of times, i end up in trouble because of ignoring it. there were also signs of danger before it happened. it's a fact: i'm a damn fucking brainless idiot. haay... i better stop this self-loathing. it will only get me nowhere. i won't let my erronous conscience corrupt my mind. she had been telling me a couple of times that i don't deserve to be a driver, that i don't deserve to admire cars. hell, she even told me that i have no right to dream about being a race car driver! fuck that! i may be stupid, imbecile or whatever you want to call but i won't let anyone stop me from achieving that dream! as it is, that's my last dream left. my dreams of being a seiyuu, a martial artist, a computer programmer, a shinobi (like that's possible!) or being a talented anime artist are all lost to the wind now. all that is left is to become a hashiriya and i will achieve that! i'll show all of them! i will become a world-reknowned girl race car drifter! and i won't lose to my brother! i'll let them know that i'm not a girl who only knows how to make a car move forward and backward! from this day on forward, i will strive hard to get better and achieve this dream. i promise! i will not take back my words, that is my racer's way!!!!


[S]he [w]aited``
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