// [P]rofile.. *

 Name : Ayan Kumiko
Nick : Maya
Age : ....
D.O.B : ....
Sign : Sagittarius
Email : mafabunan@yahoo.com
YM : class_cuties
Friendster : kuroitenshi15@yahoo.com

// [A]dores.. *

 anime.
manga.
j-music.
cars.
racing.
drift.
art.
music.
house m.d.

// [L]oathes.. *

 jackasses.
snakes.
stuck-up brats.
spiders.
ampalaya.

// [L]inks.. *

 My multiply.
Fanfictions.
My livejournal.

// [W]ishlist.. *

 nintendo ds.
make a manga.
drift my car.
produce an awesome computer graphic design.
See l'arc~en~ciel perform live.

// [T]agboard.. *

 ``Insert your tagboard code here``
Saturday, February 10, 2007
|2/10/2007 12:21:00 AM|

i never knew that i will get tired of hearing the same thing over and over again. but you would if will hear it in the span of one week. geez... my best friend is currently having problems in her love life and she has been bombarding me with the same thing again and again and again within this week. it's not that i don't want to help her out, it's just that, it gets tiring already. we have been discussing the same thing for more than one week already! and the other problem is that it she can't make up her mind. she keeps jumping from one problem to another and then back again. i had given her advices on her problems but it seems that she's not listening at all. i know that it's up to them whether to take up our advices but to ask an advice on the same thing for consecutive days is kind of tiring. not to mention that i, too have a share of my own problems. thank goodness that, kitin, my bestest friend (if there is such a term as that) was online tonight and i got to tell her mine. at least, i had gotten that off my chest and i feel somewhat better (if only by a little bit). i don't know when she will realize that all she is doing is going on in circles and that if she doesn't make up her mind soon, she will be the one in the losing end. meaning that she may lose both.
anyway, about me. i don't know when i will recover from my sadness but i know it will take a very long time once again before i become the cheerful old me. it'll take a miracle to reverse the things that had happened but really, right now, i don't care. i don't want to care. i don't want to think. and i don't want to feel. i want to be just numb and cold for the time being until i recover from this pit of darkness that i somehow tumbled in. i know that there is still that, but i don't think i can face him right now with my emotions raging at each other. the next time we meet, i want to be completely in control of myself and i want to be positively sure of what i am feeling. coz' if we meet right now, i might let out things that can lead to an irreversible damage like what happened with the last one. that is the one thing that i am afraid to happen and i'll be devastated if something like it occurs once again. so for the time being, im gonna wrap myself up in my own little world of dim lights and cold, stale air in order to sort things out.

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